tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC January 26, 2018 12:37am-1:38am PST
♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- willem dafoe. from "the alienist," actress dakota fanning. amazing cakes from flour shop owner amirah kassem. featuring the 8g band with brann dailor. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump arrived in switzerland this morning for the world economic forum, and immediately converted his money into francs. [ laughter ] president trump tried to dispel
rumors today, he has a strained relationship with british prime minister theresa may. and said they are on the same wavelength. added trump, if it wasn't for the language barrier, we'd be best friends. [ laughter ] according to a new poll, 29% of people believe president trump is a good role model for children. what? was it multiple choice? [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] that's right. according to a new poll, 29% of people believe president trump is a good role model for children. "that's all we needed to hear" said child protective services. retired nba star kobe bryant has been nominated for an academy award for the short film "dear basketball" which is either a film about his basketball career or the single greatest movie ever made. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] pope francis yesterday condemned fake news saying the spread of false information dates back to the time of adam and eve.
specifically the part about there being an adam and eve. [ laughter ] [ applause ] officials in a south carolina zoo say an orangutan briefly escaped his enclosure on monday, but then returned to his pen. incidentally the orangutan escaped his enclosure is secret service code for when trump shows up at a policy briefing. [ laughter ] the orangutan is discussing immigration. [ laughter ] a new poll has found that 86% of americans said that it's important that the president be loyal to their spouse. said melania, "no, seriously. i'm good." [ laughter ] a south carolina man was arrested this weekend for attacking a comedian during his show at a comedy club. "frankly, i'm surprised it doesn't happen to me more often" said the comedian. [ audience ohs ] [ imitating bill cosby ]
"with the punching, and the hitting, and the attacking." >> seth: we all have a tiny voice in the back of our head. and this is very exciting. thanks to newly developed technology, we here at "late night" now have the ability to record the tiny voice that is inside donald trump's head. and you might be surprised to know that like everyone's inner voice, donald trump's is filled with paralyzing fear and self-doubt. so here it is, once again, the tiny voice in the back of donald trump's head. ♪ >> hey, donald. it's the tiny voice in your head. and i'm here to tell you, don't start singing the national anthem unless you know all the words. oh, no, you started. [ light laughter ] and you better know them all. but it looks like you maybe don't. you're already doubting. that's better, you stopped now. but don't -- oh, you can't decide, can you? are you going to sing it? or are you not going to sing it? because there are words the whole time. [ light laughter ] but you seem to think like, they're every few seconds. okay.
you know what? just be quiet. pat your chest. this is way better. just rock a little and maybe pat, there you go. say a word if you want. throw one out there. throw one out there. [ laughter ] okay, and then another pat, and that's good. and then maybe a big finish, give them a big finish. and the home of the babes! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we've got a great show for you tonight. his latest film "the florida project" is must-see, willem dafoe is here tonight, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] she's starring in the terrific new show on tnt, "the alienist." dakota fanning is here tonight, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] she is the owner and founder of flour shop here in new york city, and has incredible cakes to show us. amirah kassem is here, as well. [ cheers and applause ] you're here on a great night. before we get to that, president trump is in davos meeting with financial elites amd world leaders.
meanwhile, the lives of nearly 800,000 young undocumented immigrants are in limbo as he and democrats negotiate an immigration deal. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: trump is in davos, switzerland for the annual world economic forum. hobnobbing with the worlds financial elite, and some of the richest people in the world. and that, of course, might come as a surprise to some of his supporters who were led to believe that trump would fight against those same global elites. in fact, trump has even gone so far as to claim he does not personally get along with rich people. >> my weakest supporters are with the very rich people. isn't that funny? i don't get along that well with the rich. i don't even like the rich people that much. it's like, a weird deal. our focus is on helping the folks who work in the mail rooms and the machine shops of america, the plumbers, the carpenters, the cops, the teachers, the truck drivers, the pipe fitters. the people that like me best. [ laughter ] actually, the rich people actually don't like me, which is sort of interesting.
>> seth: trump always sounds so phony when he tries to claim he's not elite. i'm sorry, but it's not exactly convincing when you just tick off a list of jobs like you're naming members of the village people. [ laughter ] "i get along with everyone, the cops, the construction workers, the indians, the cowboys. leatherman." [ laughter ] and yet, despite his famed contempt for rich people, trump is the first president since 2000 to make the trip to davos. a playground for the wealthy elites whose approval, he obviously craves. in fact, this morning he was asked by a reporter, how he thought he'd be received by the elite davos crowd. and he seemed to be enjoying the fact that throngs of people were following him around. >> you think you're going to be received well here? are you going to be received well? >> i already am. look. you take a look. you tell me. >> seth: oh, my god. he thinks just because there are crowds around him, he's popular. it's not because you're popular. you're in europe. they're following you around for the same reason people rubberneck a crash on the highway.
[ laughter ] how did that happen? of course, despite trump's populist bluster, the wealthy elites of the world are very much benefiting from his presidency, specifically his tax and regulatory policies. and trump, in return, seems to be enjoying the validation from the davos crowd. this morning he met with british prime minister theresa may. it's been reported that may and trump don't get along. especially since trump has tweeted nasty things about her and the uk. so when they met face-to-face at davos today, trump tried to insist to reporters they're, in fact, friends. but it was not very convincing. >> the prime minister and myself have a really great relationship. although, some people don't necessarily believe that. but i can tell you, it's true. i have tremendous respect for the prime minister and the job she's doing. and i think the feeling is mutual from the standpoint of liking each other a lot. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i think the feeling is mutual from the standpoint of liking each other a lot? that sounds like the hallmark card for an arranged marriage.
[ laughter ] but of course, even while trump is abroad, he's still grappling with the immigration debate here at home. and specifically over the fight for daca, the obama-era program that protects undocumented immigrants brought here as children from deportation. the daca debate is very much a microcosm of how dysfunctional congress has become. because there are large majorities, in both houses, who say they would vote for a daca bill. and yet, gop leaders like senate majority leader mitch mcconnell have blocked it. and clearly some senators are fed up with the gridlock. like west virginia democrat joe manchin, who made news this week with his assessment of how things are going in washington. >> manchin has been very vocal about his displeasure with washington. admits telling minority leader chuck schumer and others quote, "this place sucks." [ laughter ] >> seth: it's official. senators now talk about the senate, the way a kid describes a rundown summer camp upstate. [ laughter ] "there's no xbox. and the only thing in the closet is cream of wheat. this place sucks!" [ laughter ] now democrats agreed to re-open the government in exchange for a vague promise from mcconnell
that he would bring it up daca legislation up for a vote if there's no deal by february 8th. but mcconnell has already broken many promises, including to members of his own party. schumer, himself, even admitted there was no guarantee that mcconnell would keep his word. but insisted that democrats would hold him accountable. >> mcconnell said on the floor, and i realize sometimes he's broken his word before. but he said on the floor, we will definitely get a vote on february 8th of a bipartisan bill on d.r.e.a.m.ers that has my okay. is there is a guarantee that mcconnell keeps his word? no. but we are going to hold his feet to the fire. >> seth: i'm sorry democrats. but i just don't trust you to hold anyone's feet to the fire. i don't even trust you around fire. [ laughter ] i can't imagine it not ending up with all your hair burned off. [ light laughter ] plus, mitch mcconnell is already in the fire. and he keeps coming out unscathed. at this point, i'm pretty sure he hatched from one of daenerys targaryen's dragon eggs. [ laughter ] even republicans can't say unequivocally, that they trust mcconnell.
arizona senator jeff flake was asked point blank if he trusts mcconnell. and he wouldn't just say yes. >> do you trust mitch mcconnell? >> i do think that commitment made like this today with such fanfare and this is for, you know, what will happen three weeks from now. i think we can count on it. >> seth: man, everyone says they want to get elected to bring straight talk to go to washington. but as soon as they show up, they turn into a bride having second thoughts on her wedding day. [ light laughter ] do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and hold as long as you both shall live? "oh, well i mean -- definitely to have." [ laughter ] "and i'm sure there will be some holding. but, i mean, who knows how long we're going to live?" so what does mcconnell have to say about all this skepticism? he keeps half-heartedly repeating his vague promise. but his choice of words isn't all that convincing. >> what do you say to those d.r.e.a.m.er's who are worried that you won't keep your word and bring a bill to the floor? a lot can go wrong between now and then. >> i intend to keep my word. >> seth: what do you mean you intend? it's your word. are you worried you'll try to keep it, but it will get stuck in your neck bubble?
[ laughter ] [ imitating mitch mcconnell ] "oh, my promise is stuck." so that's all democrats got. and the process for how they got there doesn't exactly inspire confidence, either. a group of republicans and democrats met to broker the shutdown agreement. and one of the senators, maine republican susan collins, used a novel tactic to maintain order during the meeting. multiple senators told cnn that lawmakers had agreed to use a talking stick. the agreement was that before anyone interrupted or shared their perspective, they should be holding the stick. at one point, senator lamar alexander of tennessee forcefully tossed the stick toward senator mark warner of virginia after warner interrupted him, nearly shattering a glass elephant belonging to collins. [ light laughter ] so the elephant nearly shattered because republicans couldn't agree on immigration policy. do you think there's any chance they picked up on the symbolism? [ laughter ] "hey guys, i don't want to cause alarm, but is it a bad omen that our bickering almost broke the symbol of our party? oh, don't be silly. it's a coincidence. okay, but also, the oil painting of ronald reagan is crying real tears." [ laughter ] senators then apparently agreed
to use something less dangerous. after that incident, collins suggested using a small rubber ball and alexander also brought his own basketball, because it'd be safer than a stick. a republican senator, who was in the room, said there were no injuries. there were a couple of close calls, but everything worked out fine. did everything work out fine? because from the sound of things, the people were trusting to fix immigration can't be trusted with a stick. [ laughter ] in fact, the so-called common sense caucus is apparently so proud of the fact that they used the talking stick to maintain peace, that collins went on cnn the next day and showed it off. >> what is a talking stick? >> well, i can show it to you. >> whoa! [ laughter ] >> and as you can see, it's beautifully beaded. >> seth: when you were picturing the stick, you didn't think it looked like that, did you? be honest! [ laughter ] not the stick you pictured. [ applause ] it's like a cross between c-span and qvc. this next piece is a beautifully hand-carved item -- used for
bickering lawmakers who can't be civil. and it only costs your dignity. [ light laughter ] so you got a group of -- democrats who are proud of themselves for managing to keep the government open. and extracting a vague promise from known promise breaker, mitch mcconnell. but even the democrats, who are against the agreement, haven't exactly done a great job of articulating their position. here's massachusetts senator ed markey criticizing republicans for the shutdown by attempting to quote the musical "hamilton." >> in "hamilton", there's a great scene where -- the greatest song is where hamilton and madison and jefferson, go into the room. it's the room that -- where it happens. but right now, the republicans are all like aaron burr on the outside of the room, even though they control the house, the senate, and the presidency, pretending that they are not the deciders. they are, it's the room where these issues get resolved. [ laughter ] the room where it happens, that they still have not created. >> seth: hear that interview and more on the new album "ed markey butchers 'hamilton.'"
[ laughter ] so the question for democrats now, is if they can honestly trust trump to negotiate on immigration giving that trump's position keeps changing depending on who he's talking to. and in particular, there is a group of hardline conservatives in congress and the white house, who whisper in trump's ear every time he's thinking of making a deal. and no one is a better example of that than immigration hardliner and senior policy adviser, stephen miller. [ thunder clap ] >> you rang? [ laughter ] >> seth: miller is the one, along with a few others, who has repeatedly scuttled any attempt to make a daca deal. and just to give you an idea of how unhinged miller is, you might remember that he recently went on cnn to repeatedly call trump a genius in a combative interview that was cut off by cnn anchor jake tapper. well, the washington post reported this week, that miller told colleagues that the show went well. and that he wouldn't have changed a thing. okay, just to be clear, this is the interview you are talking about, right? >> steve bannon didn't push the travel ban. >> if you let me -- >> steve bannon -- [ talking over each other ] >> if you let me ask this question. >> no. with his incredible work -- >> okay, you're not answering the question. [ talking over each other ]
i think the viewers right now, can ascertain who is being hysterical. >> jake -- [ talking over each other ] >> the president and the white house -- >> no, the reason why i want talk about -- [ talking over each other ] no, hold on a sec. >> i want to ask you a question, because -- >> no. don't be condescending. [ talking over each other ] jake, jake. >> stephen, stephen -- >> this isn't a courtroom. and i have a right to speak. >> stephen, settle down. settle down. calm down. [ laughter ] >> seth: you thought that interview went well? jake tapper literally had to talk to you like a dog who can't stop humping the furniture. [ laughter ] "hey! settle down! no, not my leg!" true story, the end of that interview, wolf blitzer had to shoot miller with a tranquilizer dart. [ laughter ] now late today, white house released a framework of a plan that could provide a path to citizenship for d.r.e.a.m.er's, but would also include money for a wall and big cuts to family-based immigration. there are still major questions. and in the meantime, we have a president who has changed positions multiple times. and a gop senate leader who has broken multiple promises. in other words -- >> this place sucks. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we'll be right back with willem dafoe, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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does your bed do that? oh. i don't actually talk. though i'm smart enough to. i'm the new sleep number 360 smart bed. let's meet at a sleep number store. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band right over there! [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in with us all week, we've had the fantastic drummer from renowned metal
band, mastodon, whose album "emperor of sand" is grammy-nominated for best rock album. they also earned a second nomination in the best metal performance category. brann dailor is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for another great week. >> thank you. >> seth: always great having you here. >> thank you. >> seth: our first guest tonight was oscar-nominated for his roles in "platoon" and "shadow of the vampire." he just received his third nomination for his performance in "the florida project", which is in limited theaters. let's take a look. >> i got a videotape of the kids illegally entering the utility room. [ child whispering ] >> did you hear what i just said to her? >> i got it. i'mma talk to her. >> if it happens again, you're out of here. it's only second week of the summer and there's already been a dead fish in the pool. >> we were doing an experiment. we were trying to get it back alive. >> that wasn't my idea. >> and water balloons thrown at tourists. you can't [ bleep ] with tourists. >> seth: please welcome to the show, willem dafoe, everyone!
♪ [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. >> sure! my pleasure. my pleasure. >> seth: this is truly one of my favorite movies of the year. >> great. >> seth: it's wonderful. i also -- before we get to it, i want to thank you because you were also nominated for a golden globe. you were in the audience. i made a joke about -- it was the first time men could hear their name as nominees and not be terrified. and you gave me a great reaction to that joke, and i think it got a bigger laugh than the joke itself. [ laughter ] >> i got a rubber face, what can i say. >> seth: you got a rubber face. it was great. well thank you so much. so this film, you actually -- it's about families living in a budget hotel in florida. it's obviously an actual hotel that was still running while you were shooting. >> right. right. there were residents there around that kind of, were living the same life that we were depicting in the film. >> seth: you play a manager of this hotel. were there times that people who live there thought you were the actual manager?
>> well you know, like a couple of times, they had to get us out of the way because they had to check people in, for example. >> seth: uh-huh. >> we'd be in the middle of the scene and they were, like, "can you move aside? we got business to do here." [ laughter ] >> seth: and one of the other things that was great. there's a fantastic scene in the movie where, as a manager, you have to get -- actual birds out of the way. >> these birds were -- they're protected. so you couldn't touch them, and occasionally they'd come over to -- i think the real manager was feeding them cheetos. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> that's why they would come around, and sometimes they'd be in our shot. and one time the director said, "can you deal with that -- those birds?" and the camera was rolling and we went with it, so i had a little improvised scene with the birds. [ laughter ] and they were very good. >> seth: they were great. >> they're great partners. >> seth: yeah, great scene partners. it was a wonderful scene. i will also say, it seems like if birds are protected, you shouldn't be able to give them cheetos. [ laughter ] that seems like -- >> i didn't give them -- >> seth: yeah, no look, it's
very clear. >> it's the other guy. >> seth: yeah, throw him under the bus. so the kids, obviously, you're a trained actor. the kids and a lot of the actors in this film came from local community theaters. some of them had not acted before. >> one of the -- the mother that plays the -- well the mother and the 6-year-old child are the main performers. and the child is 6-years-old. >> seth: yeah. >> she's done some things but she's 6-years-old. >> seth: yeah. >> and bria who plays her mother, was found on instagram. >> seth: yeah, she's fantastic. >> fantastic. and i loved performing with them because they're very free. they have nothing to compare it to. they're totally in. they're really good at pretending. they're really good at just dealing with what we're doing. they aren't thinking outside of what's happening. they're very present and that's always a pleasure. >> seth: and so when you -- work with people who have less experience than you, does it make you feel more experienced, or does it bring you back to
like when you were -- >> i think it brings you back, and that's what you always want to do. you kind of want to forget what you know and enter the story on its own terms, and not think about tricks you have or a process you need. you know, you try to find new ways. >> seth: you, there are a lot of people who are pulling for you at the oscars. >> that's cool. >> seth: and one of them is denis leary. denis leary tweeted, "really need willem dafoe to win an oscar this year so i can be mistaken for an oscar winner wherever i go." [ laughter and applause ] so that was very nice. i mean, it seems a little self-interested, but it's still -- >> it's self-interest. >> seth: yeah, and then, this is pretty great. "this morning my uber driver said he loved me in 'the florida project' and wondered if i was working on my oscar speech. i said thank you and yes. then we took a photo together. #godafoe." [ laughter and applause ] so it is -- it's already happening. >> the only thing -- i got a beef with denis leary because he keeps on having me take the rap for "dumbo drop." >> seth: oh, wow.
so he was in the movie "dumbo drop" and now you have to answer questions about that? >> no, no, he always says, "no, that wasn't me. that was dafoe!" >> seth: oh, my god! [ laughter ] it's even worse. >> i've never seen the movie. i shouldn't say it, until i've seen it. >> seth: that's true. i will tell you this. >> it's a good movie? >> seth: if he's getting credit for "florida project," you deserve better than "dumbo drop." [ laughter ] is there anyone -- who do you get mistaken for? is that -- >> probably the best one, and the most -- the one that happens the most times is -- particularly when i'm thin, mick jagger. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, that's pretty great. >> and it's always very enthusiastic. they -- it's always, "oh! oh! mick jagger! mick jagger!" [ laughter ] and i was like, "oh, do that thing!" you know? "i said come on baby, do that thing!" [ cheers and applause ] which is cool. which is cool. i love mick jagger. >> seth: yeah. >> i grew up with mick jagger. forget that he's about 20 years older than i am. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, yeah.
you got to let that go. yeah. >> he's cool. >> seth: but so you -- it seems like, because i will say, that was very good. [ light laughter ] it seems like you own it, and you don't -- do you correct people or do you let them have that moment and say they met mick jagger? >> better yet. once i was someplace -- it was in italy, and i went to the toilet and i heard the kitchen going -- "mick jagger. mick jagger." and i get so scared that they'd come out and ask me for an autograph or something. i was -- i didn't know whether i could say, "no i'm not him." or i just do it and hope i get out before they really ask me to dance or sing, you know. >> seth: yeah. the best would be if you were in italy and you faked it and they immediately looked were like, "he's no mick jagger." [ laughter ] >> that's another story. >> seth: congratulations. good luck at the oscars. it was -- it's just such a fantastic film and it's so great to have you. thank you so much. >> great, thank you. >> seth: willem dafoe, everybody. "the florida project" is in limited theaters now. we'll be right back with dakota fanning. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you know our next guest from films like "the twilight saga", "the secret life of bees", and "american pastoral." she's currently starring in tnt's limited series, "the alienist", with new episodes airing monday nights at 9:00 p.m. let's take a look. >> conner's been to see the santarelli's. >> does roosevelt know? >> he's not in. i don't want to go talk to them. >> but you're employed as a typewriter. >> i prefer the term secretary, but i have good reason for wanting to involve myself. >> you'll not be welcome in that part of the neighborhood, you know. >> i may only be a secretary, but i do work for the police department. >> oh, the riff-raff won't care about that. >> which is why i'll need you to accompany me. >> they won't care about that either.
>> are you saying you're afraid? >> seth: please welcome to the show, dakota fanning, everyone! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome to the show. >> thank you. thanks for having me. >> seth: so congratulations on "the alienist." this is your first foray into multi-episode television. did you enjoy it? >> i did. i really did. it was -- one of the best working experiences i've ever had. it was almost seven months in budapest and just working with the best people, so. >> seth: you have very intricate costumes. very beautiful costumes. they also look brutally uncomfortable. is that true? >> i'm sorry, michael, but yes, some of them were. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, i don't blame today's modern costume designer. i blame the turn of the century. >> totally. no, but they were -- i mean, i
hesitate to even say that they're costumes. these are real pieces of clothing that could have been worn in 1896. you know, it was like if there were 50 buttons down a dress, then they weren't like snaps to like cheat it, you know? it was 50 buttons, and -- but i became, like, i had the same costumer every day who would get me dressed and undressed. her name was dora, and the second they were like, "okay, dakota, you're done." i was like, hat off, handing it to dora. like jacket off, like pin off, tie off. like i knew exactly what i could take off and just would leave this little trail from the set to the trailer. i was taking off each piece because it's one of those things that you know when you have to be in it, you're fine, but the second that you know that your requirement is finished, it's, like, okay. >> seth: yeah. >> well, it's gotta come off right now. >> seth: no, well also you're like, "oh, i'm a crazy person dressed from a hundred years ago." [ laughter ] >> yeah, exactly. exactly. >> seth: and you actually, you play a fictional character, but based on a real woman who was
the first woman who worked in the nypd. >> right. yeah. >> seth: so that must have been a cool person to try to embody. >> i mean, yeah. when i read the character, i was so thrilled to play someone who -- she was the first woman to hold a title at the police department. in that clip you saw, she's the secretary to the police commissioner who's theodore roosevelt and -- you know, but even that's not good enough for her, you know what i mean? she has such aspirations to even be more than just a secretary, but that's sort of her way in to this world that isn't very welcoming to her. >> seth: i want to ask about this. you have an instagram, a private instagram account. [ laughter ] >> and you brag, you're very good at using -- you're good at internet stalking, and it's so nice of you to brag about this, because a lot of people would keep that secret. [ laughter ] >> seth: so what do you use -- >> -- blown my cover right now! >> seth: yeah, i know, but like so what do you -- how do you use instagram to find out -- like, 'cause you're a bit of a detective. you're like your character. you're getting to the bottom of things. >> yes. yes.
well, yeah. there are times when you have to go deep into -- you know before you could search people's -- who they followed at the top. >> seth: yeah. >> now you can like put in the first letter and all of the b's will come up. >> seth: yeah. >> it didn't used to be this way. you used to have to scroll through, somebody follows 523 people. it's like scroll through 523 people. but sometimes that was the only way to make connections, you know? >> seth: gotcha. what were you trying to connect? [ laughter ] >> well -- uh, you know. >> seth: you were like, "there's been a murder, instagram." [ laughter ] >> yeah, exactly. you know, when you just feel somebody's lying to you and you've got to get down to the bottom of it. >> seth: oh, gotcha. oh, so you would like follow, you'd say like i'm -- if somebody would say like, "i'm here." you find a connection and then you'd find on someone else's account. >> yeah, and i just like to know if i meet someone, i just like to know, like, who they are friends -- i don't know. [ laughter ] it makes me sound like a big creep but -- >> seth: no, like a -- like a little one. >> like a small creep. [ laughter ] >> seth: so this -- you were not
a huge sports fan, but you come from a family -- >> i can't say that in public, because my mom will like have my head if you say that about me. >> seth: well, would your mom admit you are less of a sports fan than her? >> you all are less of sports fans than my mom. everyone in this room combined. less. >> seth: and is it -- it's been problematic -- her thirst for sports -- >> this is so funny. so, i'm cutting you off and telling my story. [ laughter ] >> seth: no, no, please. go for it. >> i went to the sag awards recently, and i presented and i got to wear this beautiful dress, and i -- a few weeks ago, i wanted my mom to come to a fitting of it 'cause my mom, she loves clothes and fashion. she has a great eye, and i like her to come with me sometimes to the fittings. and so i had a fitting, and i was like, "oh, we have to be at samantha's at 1:00 for that dress fitting." she's like, "okay, okay." you know, that day rolls around and she's like, "dakota, that is the georgia-alabama game."
i was, like, yeah. okay. like, i gotta -- i'm here for like a day. i have to do it that day. she's, like, "who would plan anything today at 1:00 p.m.?" [ laughter ] she was, like, mad at me, like actually mad. i was, like, "there's nothing i can do." i -- it has to be this day. so she didn't come. >> seth: oh, wow. [ laughter ] that's great. and i guarantee the people at that fitting also did not know it was the alabama-georgia game. [ laughter ] congratulations. >> thank you. >> seth: so much on the show. it's lovely having you here. >> thank you so much. >> seth: dakota fanning, everybody. "the alienist" airs monday nights at 9:00 p.m. on tnt. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ at at&t, buy one iphone 8 and get one on us. that's one for you, and one for... your bbf your backup singer. your frenemy your boo
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back. you know, we devote a lot of time to breaking down complex issues and sometimes they're news stories that require someone with a bit more expertise than me. and now, with his expertise, a 14-year-old boy who just had his wisdom teeth out and the painkillers haven't worn off yet. [ light laughter ] so live from the back of his mom's jetta, say hello to lucas. how you doing, lucas? >> how am i doing?
i'm smoking. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you seem a little out of it. are you sure this is a good time? >> i'm good if you're good. i just ran six miles. >> no, you didn't. >> no, i did not. thank you, mom. >> seth: all right, well first, i was hoping we could talk about net neutrality. it has wide-ranging consequences, but lots of people don't even know what it means. think you can explain it? >> explain net neutrality? >> seth: if you can. >> well you got to grab your butt, because i'm about to blow your mind out your butt. [ light laughter ] net neutrality. okay, so you know how sometimes you go to 7-eleven and you get a slurpie and it's kind of warm, and it gets stuck in a straw, and it tastes a little bit like cat pee? >> seth: yeah, i guess. >> so net neutrality is that, but the internet. [ light laughter ] hey seth, did you know that i can sing? >> seth: no. ♪ ♪ why you got to be so rude ♪ >> i sound do good! mom, are you recording that? >> i'm driving!
>> she recorded it. >> seth: let's move on. so lawmakers ended a three-day government shutdown this week. think you can tell us what happened there? >> absolutely. so, you know how when you go to find a seat at lunch and then your friend is, like, "hey, i called dibs on that seat." and you're like, "well, i called dibs on it yesterday." and he's like, "well, i called dibs on that friday," and i was like, "that doesn't count because dibs resets on sunday." dibs resets on sunday, okay. and then, he never talks to you again. >> seth: yeah, i mean, i guess so. >> okay. it's like that, but for the government. [ light laughter ] oh, seth, can i tell you a secret? i have a girlfriend. >> you don't have a girlfriend. >> i have lots of girlfriends, mom. kaylor swiff. miley jenner and charba streisand. oh seth, did you know that i can do an impression of an automatic paper towel dispenser? wave your hand in front of me. [ imitates towel dispenser ]
[ light laughter ] >> seth: wow, that was really good. that was really good. >> thank you. >> seth: you have time to explain one more issue? >> yeah, baby. >> seth: so pope francis recently made a big shift in the catholic church by allowing remarried people to take communion. can you explain why this is so controversial? >> okay, so first of all, communion is like, you know how a potato chip is like salty and crunchy and delicious? >> seth: sure. >> okay, well, taking communion is the same thing as that, but it's jesus. [ laughter ] hey, seth, can i tell you another secret? >> seth: yeah, well, i don't think i can stop you now. >> one time, i punched a guy so hard in the face, that he died. >> no, you didn't. >> no, i did not. but i did stab somebody. >> you didn't stab anyone. >> yeah, because you're always hectoring me. >> do you even know what that word means? >> yeah, it means you have a big, fat butt. [ laughter ] i didn't mean that. she has a great butt. i love my mom.
>> seth: well, lucas, listen, i appreciate you talking to us but i feel like we're not going to be able to understand this issue. >> well, i don't know what's so hard to understand, pope francis is just saying that god's mercy extends to everyone, even sinners, and that communion is not a prize for the perfect. it's nourishment for the weak. >> seth: oh lucas, that was really eye-opening. are you catholic? >> i worship a kind of a jewish satan. >> you're catholic. [ laughter ] >> i'm catholic. >> seth: all right, thank you, lucas. i hope you feel better soon. ♪ ♪ why you got to be so rude ♪ we'll be right back with amirah kassem, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ lock its tuition... from your first dream to your first dollar. from between shifts and after hours. from the struggle, to the reckoning. to the moment you sit in that auditorium and realize that your whole life is about to change.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. we're here with amirah kassem, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] founder of "the flour shop." thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> seth: it is january, your birthday is in january. >> the whole month. >> seth: and you celebrate the whole month. >> the whole month is my birthday. >> seth: well, when you make cakes like this -- so, these are cakes. >> everything here is a cake. >> seth: that's so amazing. we're going to make a cake. >> no, i slaved really hard at making all of these. so, you're going to make a cake. >> seth: oh, i'm -- i'm going to make a cake. all right, great. >> sorry. >> seth: all right, so what cake are we making? >> so, this is our rainbow explosion. >> seth: okay. >> you ready? >> seth: yeah, of course. >> ready to get dirty? >> seth: uh-huh. >> we play with our food here. >> seth: okay. >> so here's your piping bag. >> seth: okay. >> and you just frost right around there.
we'll just keep layering it until -- >> seth: okay. >> oh, there you go. you got -- use your hands. we'll help you out here. >> seth: all right, i'm doing it. there we go, great. that's perfect, i would say. excellent. [ laughter ] >> i think it looks beautiful. >> seth: i think it's great -- what are you doing though? >> we're just spreading it out a little bit, you know. >> seth: okay, gotcha. okay good. i just would just love if you would ask, since i'm making it, if you would ask for permission. [ laughter ] >> i feel like -- well, you'll do the next one. you'll do the next one. we'll trade off. >> seth: okay, great. [ talking over each other ] >> we'll trade off. >> seth: all right. >> here's your blue. >> seth: okay, great. >> you know, there's an order. [ talking over each other ] >> seth: i'm very impressed you're doing it in actual rainbow order. >> i'm impressed with your like, double grip situation. >> seth: all i needed hear was -- all i needed was a little guidance. all right. great. there we go. this is not going great. >> i think that looks beautiful. i think you're doing great. [ light laughter ] >> seth: thank you. >> you know, if you ever get tired of the late night thing you can -- >> seth: yeah, just -- >> you can come bake. >> seth: and you opened your own bakery in soho. >> yes! >> seth: congratulations. >> i've been baking for five years and -- in a magical imagination of my brain. >> seth: yeah. >> and now it's a physical space in soho, so it's exciting. >> seth: and you used to make -- like, you would just make these for parties and stuff, right? before you had your own place? >> yeah, literally, anything you could dream, i'd bake it.
>> seth: and so would people ask for stuff, like, i want a hamburger cake? >> that's my favorite kind of person. >> seth: oh, that would want a hamburger cake? >> yes. >> seth: do you have a favorite? is there a kind -- is there something that's the most challenging? that -- i mean, this is a take-out container of chinese food is insane. >> it can be delivered to you whenever you want. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah, that's great. >> my favorite food happens to be pizza and my friends know i eat it breakfast, lunch, and dinner. so we just launched a pizza cake. >> seth: okay, so this is -- >> but it actually comes, you know, in a pizza box. i hear you like pizza, from what i can see -- >> seth: i love pizza. >> you're going for it. >> seth: okay, i'm going for it. >> get in there. full slice of new york pie. >> seth: so this is just cake now. >> wooh! [ applause ] i love that. you're almost done. >> seth: okay, great. >> i feel like this is a little a.d.d. for you. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> let's put some candy in there. >> seth: okay, where do we put the candy? in the -- >> just pour it all in. >> seth: okay, great. >> just go crazy. this is the best part so -- there we go! he knows how to do it! can we eat some?
>> seth: yeah. i just realized people work here. [ laughter ] >> i feel like -- that's great. that's great. you're doing great. >> seth: okay, great. >> yep, this is -- perfect. >> seth: perfect. >> i like your attention to detail. >> seth: thank you. >> so now you're just going to do another one. >> seth: uh-huh. so, if this was in your shop, obviously people wouldn't pay full price for it. [ laughter ] >> we actually do kids decorating classes, and you're doing -- >> seth: wait, why -- why would you say kids? >> -- you're almost as good as the kids. [ laughter ] you're like almost as good as them. >> seth: okay, great. >> so, we're going to practice a little more. >> seth: uh-huh. >> now just cover the whole thing. >> seth: with what? with this? >> go for it. >> seth: but just like -- what do you mean? like the sides? or just -- >> yeah, everything. >> seth: okay. >> wooh! >> seth: wooh! >> just go wild. >> seth: yeah, this is -- oh, my god, now i'm, like, really. >> do you know when your parents like -- you can't play with your food? this is "late night." you can play with your food. >> seth: i can play with my food. wait, why don't you do that real quick, 'cause i want to try the -- >> you keep going. [ light laughter ] so, this seth version.
[ light laughter ] my version. [ cheers and applause ] a little -- it's very similar. i think this is beautiful. >> seth: this is beautiful. >> you know what it needs? there you go. >> seth: oh, thank you so much. i really feel like it was very unfair of you to bring out a totally finished cake while i was working on mine. [ laughter ] >> no, no, i was making this one secretly down here. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> i multitask. >> seth: well -- oh, my goodness. this is great. thank you so much for the cake. >> i think you should see the inside though. >> seth: oh, all right, great. >> i mean, there's more. there's always more. >> seth: there's a reveal. >> there's a big reveal. are you guys ready for this? [ cheers ] >> seth: this is, like, a -- it's like a cake reveal when you have a kid. [ light laughter ] >> well, you basically did, right there. oh! i'm trying hard you guys! >> seth: oh, my god we're having five -- [ cheers and applause ] >> you can have it. now you can have a whole slice for yourself! you need to share with me. you gotta share.
>> seth: give it up for amirah kassem everybody! [ cheers and applause ] to see more of her creations visit the soho new york store in person of online at flourshop.com. we'll be right back. that's amazing! look at that! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ okay mcdonald's. i see your one, two and three dollar deals. tell you what, i'll raise you five. introducing value jack's way. five great ways to save. like i tell jack jr., it's all about big values, jr. prices. that's value jack's way.
like jack's one-of-a-kind breakfast pockets for $2 each. three of jack's famous tacos and a small drink for $3! or a classic bonus jack combo for $5! it's like i tell jack jr., it's all about big values, jr. prices. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to willem dafoe, dakota fanning, amirah kassem, everyone. brann dailor and the 8g band! stay tuned for carson daly! we'll see you tomorrow! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪